Searching, but what for? – Part II

When moving to Peru I knew that a new phase in my life had once started again. It is the third time that I had been giving up my life of security with regards to a home, safe job and income, friends and family. Yes, even I think I am crazy!

Living now in the Sacred Valley I knew it was time to open up my own business an Animal Communicator, Intuitive Coach and Healer by writing concepts, planning, structuring. Firstly it felt that I was creating everything correctly. Things were falling into place until I went to Costa Rica, where the horse I worked very intensively with during a Soul Level Animal Communication retreat sent me back to my heart´s deepest longing of INNER PEACE AND FREEDOM.

When returning, I entered a depression, partly because all business plans collapsed. Therefore, my boyfriend and I started travelling by car. Funny enough I broke my toe during the first few days. Even though I hated sitting so much in the car, I had no other option. Not being able to swim and hike anymore, I entered in profound connections with the surrounding landscapes. We travelled along desert roads as well as sticky mosquito filled valleys, crossed crystal clear river beds, drove along foggy death roads in more than 4000m altitudes that made your heart want to stop beating. (They supposed to have two driveways, but where there was only one)

Death road paths

I started feeling, smelling, really seeing and hearing the immense power and beauty that nature offers us to connect to. But unfortunately most of us are too busy in moving around restlessly within our thoughts and connected feelings, that we aren´t able to see the STILLNESS, STRENGTH and POWER everything in nature shows us every day and the opportunity to connect with it so we can find OUR INNER STILLNESS. I started observing my inner restlessness of pre-occupation, worries, fears like an outsider until something inside me finally surrendered and I melted into the peace and stillness, bigness and strength of nature and all that is.

I finally understood with all my senses what it means TO BE: Turning into a tree, deeply rooted in the ground, still invisible to life and light, I then saw myself growing, becoming strong and being able to spread my branches high into the sky. Sometimes a wind came, even a storm at times and it shook me profoundly, but once it calmed, I felt the sun with all my being reappearing behind the clouds again. Maybe I had lost some leaves, but I knew that I had the power to regrow them again.

With the profound lessons in nature, I learned to let go and all I felt was tremendous freedom, peace and joy. A joy that didn´t depend on external circumstances any more, but was rooted in connection to all.

I know now, that my idea of creating of business came still completely from my head. I have no idea yet, what will happen next, but I KNOW that something is creating itself from my heart and soul, ready to sends out it sprouts when it is strong enough. Yes, we live in a 3D world where money still plays a huge role, but I DO NOT want to give worry about the future, security and especially how others perceive my new way of living any nutrition. It is a decision, I constantly have to make every day again. I want to live every day with gratitude for life and as happy, free and peaceful as I possibly can, because I don´t know when it might be my last day. Neale Donald Walsch says: It doesn´t matter what you do but what you are, to be and express the divinity in you.  

PS: These are just MY thoughts and feelings, life is constantly changing and so our truth and perception of all and everything. I don´t know yet, what will happen next, but I will keep you updated.