Just yesterday I had still been so connected and rooted in being, but it is crazy how quickly a storm can appear, that doesn´t let me fall asleep tonight. What caused it? A beautiful camp fire in the back garden surrounded by beautiful friends. They are wonderful and strong to me, and I meet more and more free spirits on my current life path: Young people, who are tired of a society system of control, narrow views of life, restricted freedom and who are looking for a deeper meaning in life: Why was I born? What is my purpose in life? How can I do my part so that the world will be a more peaceful, happier and cleaner place? It is amazing, so why doesn´t it let me sleep? Because I am impressed with the age of them, they are in their 20s and wake up already to change their way of living.
And I did something, that one shouldn´t do: I stepped into my ego and started comparing myself! I saw myself in my 20s and my blind desires for achievements on one hand and on the other hand the wild life style of parties and alcohol. It took me until having been a couple of years in South America until I consciously started waking up to the desire of living a more spiritual life. And I wonder, why it took so long to realize that neither a professional work life was not for me nor a world of parties?
Now I should be happy, that I have made a huge difference in my life, but then the other comparison kicked in additionally by looking at other friends of mine, some of them are also my spiritual teachers. And I see, what they achieved by following their path and how they already successfully pass on their wisdom and/ or healing to the world. I listen to newly certified animal communicators already stepping successfully into their business.
And here I am: until a few days ago embedded in deep inner peace of being, and so quickly the doubts and questions arising again. BUT I am aware, that they are thoughts, which come and go as the wind blows, I realize that comparison is one of the worst things I can do to myself, because it makes me feel not worthy, not good enough and even old. It depends on me, how much I will let my mind take control over these thoughts to nourish them or to practice meditation and manage my energy in order to connect to my inner knowing, asking MY SELF, how much these thoughts nurture me in being happy and free. And of course they don´t, because my real self knows, that all is perfect as it is and that everything happens in its divine timing.