The wind is blowing strongly the last couple of days and I am observing the leaves flying in the wind, the air rushing vividly through the branches of our trees in the back garden. I am feeling very connected to them these days and wonder whether they are representing my inner landscape. It is Monday afternoon. Nobody arrived for my afternoon session on animal communication that I have advertised in different places. On one hand I wished this happening quietly inside myself, so I could snuggle up in bed as a cold is creeping up. On the other hand I feel bad and guilty, even more - I feel lazy. It is high season here in the Sacred Valley, so I should make most of it and pass on my work as much as I can – says my well-trained mind.
But I am with no desire of doing anything. A few weeks ago I was still driven with painting and creating, now I could spend hours listening to the wind, feeling the sun on my skin, meditating, which keeps holding me in a state of inner peace and stillness. I watch my dogs resting next to me. I guess they do not worry the slightest, whether the amount of resting does them good or not. They live so much in the present moment, so they just rest when they feel like it.
Before my travels I was still in a depression, so I could blame my incapacity to work on “low energy”. But what is going on now? Why can I not create, put my wisdom consciously with a head held up high out into the world, like I felt I should do a few days ago? Something seems to be working inside me though: the desire to change the content of my website and to broaden the aspects of my work, because I have been shifting and things are still shifting. And I need to allow myself to shift the energy! I need to be at inner peace and quietness so I can listen to the messages, divine wisdom and connect to my psychic abilities which are not perceivable from an occupied mind as well as worrying and stressful thoughts.
I am stripping myself naked by writing and sharing these posts, because our society doesn´t allow us to rest and to be. It makes a person lazy, not knowing what to do with him or herself. But I need to drop these judgments about myself. I KNOW that I want to and will be in service to the world, to help people heal, be happier, freer and to be able to shift their perspective of life. And I will do, when the time is right and the apple is ripe enough to be eaten. So let me give it some more sunshine. The apple will know when it is time to fall and doesn´t spend any thoughts on it as I do. So, please forgive me, that I still don´t come out as quick and as much as I had wanted to.
PS: But at least the shop on my website starts taking on form. So, check it out if you want, but there is still more to come.